Heidi Montag Returns From "Pig Flue [Sic] Country"

After taking a pre-honeymoon trip to Cabo San Lucas to film her latest crappy music video, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are back in L.A.

We know you were dying to know their whereabouts this second.

Rest assured, the new bride is craving fast food – and saying some prayers for their well-being: “We landed!! Now I am just praying for health!”

That is what Heidi Montag – who wore a mask while in Mexico to fend off the swine flu epidemic – writes on her always-scintillating Twitter page.

Speidi Wedding Pic

NEWLYWEDS: After last weekend, Heidi and Spencer are legally married and free to continue dominating celebrity gossip websites as man and mostly-plastic wife.

She was “so sad to leave” Mexico, but The Hills star Twatted once again before boarding her flight, saying she’s “ready to get out pig flue [sic] country.”

Montag, upon landing at the airport (and being greeted by “crazy paps”), was “ready for some taco bell!” but took time to send out another Tweet about marriage: “Thank you God for another day of life!!! and for waking up as Mrs. Pratt!”

You are now officially dumber for reading this, and are free to return to your life. Oh, who are we kidding. We can’t get enough either. Except for Heidi Montag nude in Playboy. We might have to draw the line somewhere.

Jewel to Melissa Rycroft: Suck It Up!

Jewel was originally scheduled to compete on the eighth season of Dancing with the Stars. However, she was forced to the sideline with a knee injury.

Now, as husband Ty Murray remains in the competition, the singer doesn’t understand why Melissa Rycroft is allowed to recover from her recent injury.

“I think the rule about ‘judging a rehearsal if the person is too injured to perform’ was weird both times they have used it,” Jewel wrote on her Murray’s MySpace page.

She’s referring to the fact a contestant too injured to perform on the live broadcast will be judged on his/her rehearsal footage. This is what happened on Monday, as a fractured rib made impossible for Rycroft to dance.

“As bad as I felt for Melissa, who I hope feels better and comes back, I’m used to our cowboy athletes that live by the rule: ‘Ride hurt or don’t get a score,’” Jewel added. “It may seem harsh, but it seems like the only way to keep things honest.”

Quite a JewelThe Last Laugh

The claws have come out. Now you must choose a side: Team Jewel or Team Rycroft?

Hayden Panettiere to Get Footloose with Chace Crawford?

Heroes starlet Hayden Panettiere has apparently auditioned for director Kenny Ortega’s updated remake of the classic 1980s flick Footloose.

The actress recently sang for filmmakers (the new Footloose flick is being turned into a full-blown musical à la the Broadway version), and “they were really impressed … no one realized what a good singer she is,” says an insider.

In addition to being the topic of myriad Heroes spoilers, Hayden Panettiere actually has a slew of musical credits to her name. Not only did she release a pop single, “Wake Up Call,” but she’s recorded tunes for various soundtracks.

If she makes it the next round, Panettiere will likely have a dance audition, followed by a script reading with Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford.

Hayden Panettiere, Chace Crawford

While Crawford isn’t officially on board to star as Ren McCormack (played by Kevin Bacon in the original), sources say the gig is pretty much a done deal.

For those unfamiliar, Ren is a city boy who moves to small town where rock music and dance are prohibited. He decides to revolt and overturn the laws!

Hayden Panettiere would play Ariel Moore, who falls for Ren much to the chagrin of her boyfriend and her Bible-thumping father. The original flick included hits like the title track and “Let’s Hear It for the Boy.” Awesome.

The remake was supposed to star Zac Efron, who dropped out. Dancing With the Stars‘ Julianne Hough is also being considered for Ariel. Julianne says she’s done with Dancing on TV, so she’s got the time if she’s interested …

Kelis, Nas to Divorce

Kelis has filed for divorce from fellow rapper Nas, according to reports.

The Milkshake star is currently seven months pregnant with their child.

A rep for Kelis apparently said: “I can confirm she has filed for divorce. We request the media to respect her privacy during this very difficult time.”

It is claimed attorney Laura Wasser (who has also represented Britney Spears) filed a divorce petition on behalf of Kelis on Thursday, April 30.

Nas, Kelis

The court documents apparently state the catch-all “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for the split between the music stars.

Nas and Kelis have been together for nearly seven years since meeting on a video shoot and have been married since January 2005.

Asked recently by MTV about Kelis, Nas said: “She’s great, man. She’s doing good. [We are deciding between] a few baby names. It’s kinda hard.”


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